Phoenix: The Beauty in Between (A Beautiful Series Companion Novel) Read online

  Commitment: The Beauty in Between

  a Beautiful Series Novella

  by Lilliana Anderson

  Smashwords Edition

  Copyright 2013 Lilliana Anderson

  Smashwords Edition, License Notes

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  Copyright 2013, Lilliana Anderson

  All rights reserved

  Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means without the prior written permission of the author of this book.

  This book is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead is purely coincidental. Any actual places, products or events mentioned are used in a purely fictitious manner. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various places/products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission and is by no way sponsored by the trademark owners.

  Dedication –

  To Lilli, the only one who didn’t make it.

  Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul - and sings the tunes without the words - and never stops at all.

  Emily Dickinson

  Foreward

  This has probably been my hardest book to write.

  Each time I opened the document, a nervous feeling came over me. Writing Paige’s story has forced me to look at all of my own hurt and pain. It took me to a dark place, deep inside me, each and every time I wrote it. It was difficult. It was confronting. But, in the end, I think it was worth it.

  No matter what response I get to this book. I will be forever proud of myself for getting through it. Some things happened in my life, just as I was due to start writing this book that made me want to announce that I wouldn’t do it. But I made a promise, and I felt I had to keep it.

  I do hope that you enjoy reading about Paige’s life before A Beautiful Forever. She is currently my favourite leading lady. I love her mind, and I love her strength.

  Hopefully, you will too.

  Lilliana xoxox

  Acknowledgements

  First and foremost I must thank my beta and proof readers for working so hard for me on this novel. Marion of Making Manuscripts (www.makingmanuscripts.com), Mary, Anna, Betchy, Billie, Celsey, and Megan. Your input has made this book so much better than if I had have done it all alone. Thank you! Thank you!

  Thank you to my husband for being a stand in proofreader while my usual one is off visiting Central Australia – I really appreciate your eyes, your thoughts, and your encouragement.

  Thank you to my street team and to everyone who has agreed to review for me – my heart fills up every time I see your enthusiasm for my work! And I know I can always count on Rachel, Isabel and April, who have been reviewing for me since I broke their hearts with A Beautiful Struggle.

  A big thank you also goes out to everyone who has been watching my fan page closely while I wrote this, your encouragement has been what got me through the lonely writing process. I especially want to mention Kimberly R – she was the winner of my cameo competition and was kind enough to work with me to get her description right, so she could be the one person who does something nice for Paige, without expecting anything in return.

  I also want to thank my kids for cuddling up next to me while I type and waiting patiently until I’ve finished my thought – you’re all beautiful!

  The very last thank you is to you, the person reading right now – you are the whole entire reason that I have worked so hard to create this book. Enjoy.

  Prologue

  “Mummy!” I cry out in the middle of the night, woken from a bad dream that seemed so real. I’m afraid to get out of bed.

  “What is it baby? Did you have a nightmare?” My mother asks, smoothing my hair back and kissing my head as she scoops me up in her arms and rocks me gently.

  I simply nod as I press myself to her chest, listening to the vibration of her voice as she tells me that everything is ok. It was just a dream.

  “What are you doing in here?” the gruff voice of my father says from the doorway.

  “She had a nightmare, Oliver,” my mother tells him, as she continues rocking me in her arms. I cling tightly to her, knowing that soon she will leave. Daddy doesn’t like it when she holds me.

  “You need to stop coddling her. You have two other children who need you more than that bastard does.”

  I wonder what a bastard is, as my mother presses her hands over my ears and speaks to my father. I hear nothing but a muffled sound through her hands, along with the hum of her voice through her chest. But I can’t make out any words.

  Shortly after, she’s putting me back into my bed, and telling me that it’s time to go to sleep. I don’t go to sleep though. The sound of my parents arguing keeps me awake. I think they’re talking about me. Although, they’re saying things I don’t understand.

  By the time morning rolls around, the house is quiet again. Rubbing my eyes, I wonder if the whole thing was a dream.

  Sitting up in bed, I wrap myself in my own arms. I wish it was real. I miss cuddling my mummy.

  Chapter One

  “I’d better go home,” I announce, as I stand up from the side of the pool. I’ve been hanging out at my friend Ramona’s house with her and two other friends. She has this big heated pool that we all love dangling our feet in while we talk about boys we like to look at, girls who annoy us, and parents who just don’t understand.

  “Don’t go. It’s not even 5 o’clock yet,” Jess points out. She cocks her head to look up at me and shields her blue eyes against the sun. Her straight, shoulder length blonde hair falls to the side as she regards me. “Surely your curfew isn’t this early.”

  “It’s now at 5:30 on a Sunday, and 9:30 on Friday and Saturday - every other day; I’m not even allowed out. If I’m a minute late, I’ll be grounded. You know how strict my parents are,” I remind her.

  “You’re fifteen years old. It’s not like you’re still in primary school. I say just go home when you’re ready. It’s not like they can do anything too horrible to you right?” Ramona says from beside Jess. “What’s grounding really? They say you can’t go out, and you sneak out anyway. I wouldn’t let them push me around if I was you.”

  “Guys get off her back,” my best friend Maddison puts in. “Neither of you has heard the way her mother goes off when she does something wrong.”

  “Yeah but her brother stays out as long as he likes. He’s always parties and things. Why is it so different for Paige?” Jess asks.

  “It’s just the way it is,” I say, checking my watch and thumbing of my shoulder towards the gate. “I need to go okay? I don’t want to be late.”

  “It’s okay,” Maddison says, pushing up on her hands to slide herself back from the pool. “I think I might head off too. I’m pretty sure I have some homework left to do before tomorrow.” She shakes her feet off and stuffs them into her flip-flops, before coming to stand beside me. “I’ll see you guys later.”

  “Ahh, homework, schomework! You guys are no fun,” complains Ramona, as we make our way through the brown Colorbond
gate that separates her backyard from the front and call out goodbye.

  Maddison and I live in different directions, so we part ways at Ramona’s letterbox. “Don’t worry about those girls ok. I wouldn’t want you to get in trouble again. It sucked when you were grounded last time.”

  “Thanks Mads,” I tell her, giving her a quick hug before heading home. We all live very close together in Miranda, which is in the Sutherland Shire near Sydney, so it’s really easy to walk.

  Just before I reach the driveway leading to my house, I check my watch, breathing a sigh of relief when I see that time. I made it home by 5:20. There’s ten minutes to spare.

  Something sitting on the pathway catches my eye, and I stop, dead in my tracks. I don’t understand what it’s doing there.

  My eyes drift upwards over the house. Everything seems so quiet. Slowly, I move up the driveway and head towards the path. Out the front of my house is a black gym bag. Sitting on top of that gym bag is a white envelope with my name on it – Paige.

  Frowning, I reach out and take it. A sense of dread sits heavy in my stomach as I stare at it, unwilling to open it. I’m afraid of what’s inside.

  As my heart beats faster and my breathing quickens, I force myself to turn the envelope over. Sliding my thumb into the small gap, I tear along the top and slip the contents into my hand. It’s cash, wrapped in a piece of paper.

  My hands shake as I unfold the paper, written on it is a single line of handwriting. The moment I read it my eyes start to burn, and my throat feels as though it’s closing.

  What the hell is going on?

  Chapter Two

  This isn’t your home anymore.

  My hands won’t stop shaking as I count out the money in my hands. Four notes - Two hundred dollars.

  Tears blur my eyes as I shake my head from side to side while I pull my keys from my pocket. This isn’t happening. I attempt to insert them in the lock, but I’m slipping and struggling. It won’t go in.

  “Just slide in!” I cry to the key. I don’t know if it’s my shaking hand or if the key just doesn’t fit anymore. My chest burns as I squeeze my eyes shut and try to focus.

  Blowing out a steady breath, I wipe my eyes on the sleeve of my shirt. No matter how I try it - the key doesn’t fit.

  “No, no, no, no, no,” I sob, as tears start to flow more freely. “Mum! Dad!” I plea, pressing my forehead against the front door and knocking. I’m trying to stay calm. This has to be some sort of joke.

  When there is no answer, I pound my fists against the door. “I know you’re here!” I yell. “The car’s in the driveway! Open the door! This isn’t funny!”

  I start thumping harder and screaming, kicking at the door, demanding to be let in. But I don’t get a single response. No one even peeks out of the curtains.

  Stepping back from the door, I look up at the second story. The lights are on, but I can’t see anyone.

  “Mum! Dad!” I scream. “Don’t do this! Please! I’m sorry ok! I’m sorry!” I slide my hands up the side of my head and clutch at my temples. I feel like I might be sick. “Oh god. I don’t even know what I did,” I mumble to myself, trying to sift through my interactions with them over the last few days. I can’t think of anything. Surely there was something - there must be a reason for this.

  “What did I do?” I screech.

  Nothing. No response. No sound. I’m alone.

  Dropping on the ground, my shoulders start to shake along with the huge sobs that are tearing out of my throat. All that’s missing from this scene is rain. But the weather’s perfect. My life is falling apart, and the weather is perfect.

  This isn’t happening. Surely, this isn’t happening.

  Reaching inside my bag, I pull out my phone and call my home number. With my phone next to my ear, I listen as I hear the ring on the line, along with the digital ring of the handset from inside the house.

  “You’ve reached the Larsen residence. We can’t come to the phone right now. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message at the tone.”

  “It’s Paige. I’m outside. Please let me in. I promise to never break curfew again. Please. Don’t kick me out. I have nowhere to go… Mum? Dad? Please pick up. Please!” I beg. “Adam? Sophie? Someone? Let me in, don’t do this!” I cry. “DON’T DO THIS!” As the machine clicks over to the engaged signal, I drop my phone on the grass in front of me and rest my face in my hands.

  I sit on the front lawn crying for - I don’t know how long. Eventually though, I run out of tears and drag myself slowly to my feet, walking over to the gym bag full of clothes.

  As I read over the note again, the words ‘This isn’t your home anymore’ echo through my mind. I feel like my life has just ended. I wish this was some kind of awful joke my siblings were playing on me, but it can’t be.

  I pick up my phone and try to call the house again, but all I get is an engaged signal. They’ve taken the phone off the hook.

  “I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE!” I shriek. “YOU’RE COWARDS! YOU’RE ALL COWARDS!”

  Scrunching the note in my hands, I drop it on the ground in front of me, and pocket the cash before hefting my bag over my shoulder. Then I focus my breathing to calm down so I can make another call.

  “Hey Mads,” I say as cheery as possible. “Do you think I could crash at your place tonight? I just got home, and I forgot my keys. The parentals aren’t home so…”

  “Hang on, I’ll check with my mum,” she says immediately. I listen down the line as she calls out to her mother and asks if I can sleep over.

  Maddison is my best friend. It’s been that way since kindergarten when someone got paint on my school uniform, and I freaked out because I knew I would be in trouble when I got home. Maddison gave me her uniform because her mum wouldn’t care. She’s always had my back, and I knew I’d be able to count on her to convince her mum to let me stay.

  “Hey, mum says it’s cool.”

  “Awesome. I’ll see you in twenty minutes,” I tell her, and disconnect the call.

  I place my phone back in my bag and walk over to the garden tap, switching it on to splash cool water over my face. Then I reposition my bag over my shoulder and start walking towards Maddison’s house.

  The whole way there, I try to convince myself that this is just some misunderstanding. Maybe tomorrow they’ll change their minds.

  Chapter Three

  The moment I arrive at Maddison’s, I hide my bag behind a bush at the side of the house, before I knock on the front door and hope to god I don’t look like I’ve been crying.

  “Hi Paige,” her mother says as she opens the door to me. “What’s going on with your parents? Aren’t they home?”

  “Ah, no they had to go out, and I forgot my key. It was really silly of me – I knew they wouldn’t be there though. I just had a bit of a brain malfunction,” I tell her nervously.

  Her eyes search my face as I hold my breath, praying that she will stop there. I don’t know how much longer I can pretend to be ok. “Alright,” she says finally. “Just make sure you give them a call to let them know where you are.”

  “Thanks Mrs Bier. I’ll do that,” I say, as she moves to the side and grants me entry.

  “Mum, give her a break,” Maddison calls out, as she walks toward me. “She just needs a place to crash, so she doesn’t have to wait around in the cold all night.” Grabbing me by the hand, she pulls me down the hallway and away from her mother. “Sorry about her. She’s a bit pissy ‘cause I asked for a sleepover on a school night.”

  “It’s cool. I don’t mind,” I assure her, as she clicks the door of her bedroom shut behind us and leans against it.

  “So, what’s really going on with your parents?”

  “Nothing, I really did forget my keys,” I assure her.

  Her left eye narrows as she looks at me. “Come on Pay, I’ve known you since kindergarten. You have a look on your face that tells me that something else is going on.”

  “Mads, I’m fine ok. I’m
just tired, and I want to crash. I’ll go home in the morning. I won’t be in your hair for too long.”

  “Paige, don’t be like that. If I had my way, we’d be sisters. I’m just trying to talk to you. You seem upset. Did you and your mum have another fight or something?”

  “She doesn’t talk to me long enough to fight these days. Listen, I’m sorry to be such a drag, but I really just want to go to sleep. Is that ok?”

  I notice the worried look on her face as she pushes herself back off the door and nods her head. She exits her room then returns with some spare bedding and a camping mattress, which I relieve her of immediately and help her set up my temporary bed.

  She flicks on the TV in her room and sits on her own bed while I lay down on mine and pretend to sleep. I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to re-live any part of this night. I just want to sleep.

  Unfortunately, sleep is the last thing I’m able to do. Every time I close my eyes the night keeps playing over and over in my head, causing silent tears to stream steadily from my eyes and wet my pillow.

  Eventually, when I’m too exhausted to stay away awake, I drift off.

  ***

  “Mum! Dad!” I shout through a crowd of people. They’re blocking my way, and I’m trying to get to my family.

  Digging my elbows into people and pushing my way through, I manage to make it within an arm’s length. “Mum!” I call again, reaching out to touch her.

  She looks over her shoulder at me and frowns before tapping my father on the shoulder and indicating that I’m there.

  He looks at me. The way his eyes scan my face makes me feel like something you’d pick out of your shoe with a stick. I stop walking. I know I’m not wanted.

  The crowd once again engulfs me like a sea of people moving in different directions. They knock against me and swear at me, because I’m stopped and in their way.

  But I don’t move. I stay there, watching. I see my parents heads move further and further away. My eyes burn and my chest aches. How could they do this to me?