A Beautiful Struggle Read online

  “I’m Elliot’s PA and Bianca, as you probably already know is the receptionist.”

  I nodded, confirming I did indeed, already know.

  “Forgive Bianca, she just saw you with a guy at lunch time and was wondering who he was. No harm intended.”

  “I’m sure,” I said warily, there was something about these two that set my internal alarms off. I didn’t like them. “To answer your question - no, he’s not my boyfriend.”

  “Oh, so he’s your brother?” Bianca probed.

  “Why is this so important to you?” I asked, willing the lift to travel faster so I could escape this conversation.

  “Just curious - he’s a good-looking guy, I wanted to know if he was fair game; That’s all,” she said challenging me with her eyes.

  I narrowed my eyes a little. “He’s not my brother or my boyfriend, and I don’t discuss his ‘game'. It's none of my business.”

  Beth and Bianca once again exchanged glances as the elevator opened, and I was granted the freedom to walk straight back to my desk instead of continuing a conversation with those two.

  I’m not stupid and I knew Bianca was interested in David, but I’m not his pimp. I don’t do set ups – he’s perfectly capable of finding girls on his own.

  I let out an exasperated sigh as I plonked down onto my chair. Happy to move on from the elevator interrogation, I checked my emails and started sorting through my 'in' tray again.

  The rest of the day was pretty uneventful, but I was happy to go home even if that meant enduring the million and one questions my mother was going to ask me about my first day.

  “How was it?” she asked the moment I stepped through the front door. I swear she must have been staking it out.

  “It was alright, busy and a little overwhelming but ok.”

  “Did you meet any new people?” she asked.

  “Of course she did mum! It was her first day and there would have been an office full of people she hadn’t met before!” my older brother chimed in.

  I smiled at my mum. I knew she was just excited for me. She had never worked before and found the idea of me working in an office very glamorous.

  “I met everyone briefly but clicked fairly well with a small group; they were nice,” I said squeezing her arm. “I’m just going to get changed ok?”

  “Did you meet any nice boys?” she asked hopefully.

  “Mum,” I replied in warning.

  “I just think you should try moving on. Was there anyone there you might like?”

  “Get off her back Mum!” my brother called out. “She’s not ready alright.”

  “Thank you Tom,” I called out gratefully. My brother was annoying, but at least he stuck up for me.

  “You’re welcome. You'll owe me later.”

  I rolled my eyes at him and looked at my mother, giving her a tight smile, “Can you leave the ‘boy thing’ alone please. I don’t want to date right now.”

  “Yes but if you’d just move on, have a bit of fun, you might forget,” she pleaded.

  “I’ve already forgotten, see!” I gave her the biggest happiest smile I could muster.

  She smiled back at me, a sadness in her eyes. “Are you going training?”

  “Yes, I will just get changed and head out.”

  “Oh… ok.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “I just thought we could talk more about your first day.”

  “There’s nothing much more to say mum, it really wasn’t that exciting.”

  “Get off her back!” my brother yelled again.

  “Sorry,” my mum said quietly.

  “It’s fine. I just want to get a ride in before I call it a day.”

  The front door opened and my dad walked in. “Hello family!” he called out as he did every time he came home.

  We all called out ‘hi’ in unison with varying degrees of excitement, “How was your first-day kiddo?” he asked as he walked past me into the kitchen to search the fridge for a cold beer.

  “Pretty good – I was just going to get changed to go for a ride.”

  “Ok, see you when you get back.”

  I went into my room and got changed into my riding gear. I could hear mum telling my dad that she couldn’t understand why he didn’t ask me more questions; 'pretty good’ could mean anything she told him. I couldn’t quite hear what his answer was, but I managed to get out of the house without any further questioning so I could go on my ride.

  I loved the peace that training gave me, whether it was going for a run, a cycle, a swim or doing weights, I felt calm when I was working hard. It’s like my brain stopped, and I didn’t have any worries left. It was tranquillity at its best for me.

  After a couple of hours I went home, ate, showered, dodged more questions and flopped into bed. I had uni the next day and caught up on some of my readings before I drifted off. I was working Monday, Wednesday, Friday and at university on Tuesday and Thursday as well as training most days. I was really going to have to work hard to keep on top of everything.

  Chapter 3

  It was Wednesday, and I was back at work. The office was very quiet all around, I had said a quick hello to Kayley on my way to my desk, but other than that, I hadn’t seen anyone. At morning tea I sat with the same people I did on Monday and once again refused lunch, saying that I wanted to run.

  “You’re very dedicated,” said Albina looking me up and down; I'm not a particularly curvaceous woman. I’m primarily muscle and sinew, but that comes with the amount of training that I do and a careful diet. I felt a little self-conscious under her scrutiny as I regularly wished I was more busty and had a bit more of a curve to my hips, so I just shrugged my response and excused myself from the table in the break room.

  “But we still have ten minutes!" said Kayley. “Sit and talk to us.”

  “I can't. I really want to do a bit of uni reading before the break is over.”

  “Oh, ok, I guess that’s a good enough reason to go,” she smiled cheekily.

  As I approached the library, I could see that someone was in there through the internal window. Walking closer, I realised that ‘someone’ was Elliot. My stupid stomach got all jittery despite me wishing I didn’t react to him. I just couldn’t help it - he was a beautiful figure to behold – especially from behind. All lean muscle showing through the tailoring of his pants and shirt, it was enough to make a girl sigh out loud – which I nearly did!

  He was intently looking through one of the law volumes; he had it sitting on top of the low book cases that lined the middle of the room while he stood with his left leg crossed behind his right, and his shirt sleeves rolled up exposing his muscled forearms while he leaned over the book in concentration.

  He turned around when I entered the room. I smiled and said, “Hi, you look busy,” to him feeling a little more comfortable around him after chatting in the lift the other day. In return, he gave me a blank impassive face before turning back to his reading.

  Wow, talk about the cold shoulder, I thought to myself as I took my seat. I put on my glasses and took out my uni reader. I could still see Elliot where he was standing and snuck a glance at him from the side of the partition. He was continuing to lean over the book ignoring me. Did I imagine talking to him Monday? I didn’t think I did, and David saw him as well so it couldn’t have been my imagination. I frowned a little while I was looking at him and unluckily for me, he caught me. I quickly flitted my eyes back down to my reading but my cheeks betrayed me as I felt the heat rise in my face, I must have looked like a complete idiot sitting there frowning at him!

  I picked up my yellow highlighter so I looked busy and started marking random sections of text in my book, I figured if I looked interested enough in what I was doing, he might just think I was frowning about my work and not at him.

  Every sound in the room seemed amplified, especially my own – I could hear my heart beating in my ears, and I seemed to be breathing so loudly that it filled the room.

&nbs
p; Above my noises, I could hear the fabric of Elliot’s shirt as he moved to turn the very loud page. I tried to still my breathing to calm myself when I heard him close the book and slide it back onto the shelf.

  I kept my head down turning pages and pretending to read, highlighting here and there but still focused on him. In my peripheral, I could see him start to walk towards me. I tried really hard to look too busy to notice him; highlight, highlight, thoughtful expression, page turn.

  “Katrina?” he said briskly to get my attention when he was near my desk.

  I looked up with feigned surprise and said, “Oh hi! Um, Evan is it? What can I do for you?”

  He looked a little taken aback when I got his name wrong and started to fumble his words, “Uh, it’s um… Elliot actually, I, uh, just wanted to ask you if you had any microfiche for me,” he pointed to the sorted pile on my desk. “I figured since I was here I would grab them to save you walking them over to um… my office,” his hand flew up, and he rubbed the back of his stylishly messy hair uneasily and gave me a slightly sheepish grin.

  “Oh of course, thanks,” I replied handing him the pile I had finished with earlier.

  “Thank you,” he said taking them, he turned slowly, then hesitated. “Uh, bye Katrina, and thanks again for these.” He held up the pile of microfiche and started for the door.

  I sat there watching him leave, feeling very impressed with myself. I pulled off the ‘deep in thought act’ and actually made Mr Hotstuff himself get a little tongue-tied – I guess he wasn’t used to women ‘forgetting’ his name.

  Kayley walked in with a conspiratorial grin on her face. “What was that about?” she asked in a low voice.

  “What was what about?” I said indifferently.

  “Don’t play all coy, Elliot just walked out of here with a very confused look on his face. What did you say to him?” she asked with her hands on her hips.

  “Nothing, he was looking at a book and then asked me for the microfiche, so I gave them to him.”

  “Yes, but what did you say?”

  “I said ‘Thanks’.”

  “You said ‘Thanks’? That’s all?”

  “That’s all.”

  “Hmmm, if you say so,” she said looking at me suspiciously. “I just haven’t seen the cool, calm and collected Elliot look confused like that before.”

  “I don’t know what to tell you Kayley, maybe he read something confusing.”

  “Hmm maybe… alright, I have to get back to work. I’ll see you later,” she said as she left the library and went back to her desk.

  I closed my uni reader and put it back in my bag to start on some more law book updates, smiling to myself about the look on Elliot’s face when I called him Evan. That’ll teach him to be rude when someone says ‘hi’, I thought to myself.

  At lunch time, I wanted to run in the Botanic Gardens. It was the beginning of August; spring had come to the city, and the gardens would be beautiful to run through.

  It was a five-minute walk from work to the gardens closest entrance, so I decided to jog and use it as my warm up. I stopped just after I arrived to stretch in front of one of those signs that give you a bit of information on the plants nearby.

  Looking around, I could see quite a few people in the park. Some were just sitting on the grass eating their lunch and enjoying the sun, others were in the distance, doing tai chi and I could see a couple of women with a personal trainer doing burpees and not looking very happy about it.

  The running track was dotted with people who all had the same idea as I did. I shook out my legs a little as I checked my watch for time – I figured I could run for 15 minutes in one direction and then turn around so I had enough time to get back to the office, shower and return to my desk before the hour was up.

  “Katrina?” a newly familiar male voice said behind me. I turned around and came face to face with Elliot.

  I couldn’t help myself and asked, “Are you following me Evan?” with a cheeky lopsided smile on my face.

  Elliot laughed, “No. I'm not following you. I work out most days; I go a bit stir crazy sitting behind a desk all day … and you know it’s Elliot right?”

  “I don’t know about that,” I laughed sarcastically. “You see, there’s this guy who works in my office called Elliot. He’s a bit of an arsehat, grunts at people when they say hi - he looks a lot like you, and I was confused because I thought he was the same friendly guy I was talking to in the lift on Monday; but alas, he was not – it was some guy who I’m assuming is your evil twin.” I said all of this with a straight face and my hands on my hips.

  He laughed at this half amused and a little uneasy, “Sorry about that, I just try to keep things pretty strict at work; I don’t like being the subject of office gossip. So don’t take offence if I don’t stop to chat, I’ve been working there a while, and it’s best to keep to yourself around those people.”

  “Ok… how do you know I’m not ‘those people’?”

  “I don’t, just a hunch. You running?” he asked as he started to jog backwards along the path. I took a deep breath as I eyed him up and down, he was wearing running shorts and a quick-dry singlet, giving me a perfect view of how well sculpted his arms, and legs were. My head spun a little as those dirty images flashed through my mind again, Get a grip! I told myself, turning my focus onto the matter at hand.

  “Yeah I’m running, are you sure you can be seen with me?” I questioned, pressing start for the timer on my watch before I ran to catch up.

  “This isn’t the office, and I don’t normally see any of the gossip mongers out here anyway.”

  “I guess they’re all too busy gossiping,” I supposed.

  “I guess so,” he agreed, and we fell into an easy pace side by side, occasionally brushing against each other - I had to force myself to focus so my knees didn’t buckle from the bolt of lust that shot through my body every time we made contact – was he doing this on purpose?

  Focus Katrina, you’re an athlete, and he’s a guy you can’t have and you don’t want – stop being ridiculous! I felt angry with myself that every time I saw Elliot, I would start imagining him naked… and on top of me… underneath me… stop it!

  “So why are you running? Do you just like it or are you in training for something?”

  “Huh?... oh, I do triathlons,” I told him quickly, hoping he wasn’t reading my thoughts.

  “Ah, explains why you’ve got such a good pace.”

  “Oh yeah? Thought you’d have to slow down running with a girl huh?”

  “I did actually. So you any good at triathlons?”

  “I’m decent. I do sprint distance, and I’ve been in under 19s until now, so I have never really had to race against the big guns of the sport. But I have a hefty stash of medals hanging up at home. Did you ever do any sport or do you just work out for fun?”

  “I used to do kayaking in my late teens and early twenties. I was ok at it. I wish I had have been good enough to compete at worlds or even the Olympics, but I barely made it to nationals. So what about you? Will you be trying out next Olympics? You’d still be young enough, wouldn’t you?”

  “If that’s your way of fishing for my age, I’m 20,” I smiled, giving him a sidelong glance, “and as far as the Olympics go - it depends on if I’m still competing; It’d be pretty awesome to make it though.”

  “I know wouldn’t it? Nationals were amazing so the Olympics would be off the charts compared.”

  “And you’d have every sport from so many different countries all in together. Imagine the after party!”

  “Ah, the after party – they’re the best part!”

  “They are,” I agreed. We continued to run and chat, until my timer went off. Turns out, Elliot is a really nice guy, and if I could just get past visualising him naked all the time – we could actually be friends.

  “What’s that for?”

  “It’s to tell me to turn around so I can get back in time,” I answered stopping but jogging on
the spot. He did the same and looked at his own watch frowning.

  “There’s still almost half an hour until the end of lunch, another five minutes, and we will loop around,” he told me moving his arm in an arching motion to demonstrate, causing his muscles to flex and my mouth to go dry.

  “I want to have a shower and what not. It's fine for you to rush back and rinse off - you don’t need to put your make up back on,” I called out as I started to run away from him.

  “Neither do you. You'd still look great without it,” he called out after me.

  I laughed, “That’s not helping,” I called back.

  Elliot stopped running on the spot and held his arms out to the side. “Helping what?”

  Helping me not visualise you naked! “Good bye Evan,” I called over my shoulder, before running back to the office, leaving him to finish the circuit on his own.

  ***

  I walked the last stretch along Phillip St leading to my office for a cool down and did a quick stretch before going inside to ride the elevator back up to my floor. There were maybe 15 people waiting for the next one to arrive, and I wasn’t very excited when I saw that Bianca was one of them. She of course noticed me straight away.

  “Oh, it’s you. I thought you were a man! What are you wearing?” she sneared, looking at my running gear like it was covered in cockroaches.

  I took up the challenge and looked at her, slowly sliding my eyes over her clothing and down to her shoes with an unimpressed look on my face.

  She rolled her eyes and huffed out some air. “Why don’t you use the gym upstairs like everyone else so we don’t have to look at you like that?”

  “I’ll tell you what Bianca,” I levelled with her, already tired of her horrible attitude towards me. “Why don’t you go and fuck yourself?”

  Her mouth fell open, and I could hear some muffled snickers from the people waiting around us. She narrowed her eyes and was perhaps going to say something in retort, but the chime signalling the arrival of the elevator cab pinged causing a surge forward of the people waiting around us.

  We both joined them in the cab in opposite corners and when the doors opened she was quick to storm out in front of me. I pretended not to notice and made my way to the bathrooms to shower and change before my lunch break was over.